Welcome to Pantastic Panda!

Edit by Fujoshii–chan
from the manga Koketsu Dining (虎穴ダイニング) by Moto Haruko (元ハルコ)

“Cloudy with a chance of BL shipping~”

Hello guys, and welcome to Pantastic Panda! I’m Pantastic, but you can just call me Pan. This is basically a pinned introduction to tell you what this blog will be about. This blog will mostly serve as a source for reviews on manga, anime and events from a fujoshi (腐女子) perspective, but will also include some posts about myself and my journey with the Japanese language. It’s still a work in progress, but I hope you guys will stick around for the journey! 😀

Feel free to follow via WordPress or e-mail so you don’t miss out on anything. ❤

Banner from Akiyama-kun (秋山くん) by Nobara Aiko (のばらあいこ)

Finally Finished College

Hey guys! 😀

It’s been a really long time since I’ve been on here, but I wanted to make a really quick post. After four years of riding the struggle bus, I finally graduated from my university. Since graduation, I’ve just been taking some time to catch my breath, de-stress, unwind, and clear my thoughts. It’s weird not waking up and going to classes, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts.

Know what that means? Finally catching up on all the drafts that have been building up. ^^;; There are only 18 drafts, but there’s a lot of content that I want to put into them. It’s the curse of being a creative person.

Enough about me though. How have you guys been? Find any interesting new ships? Fanfics? Got an anime you want to recommend? Feel free to chat it about it in the comments. 🙂

It’s good to be back. (*^^*)

Until next time,
❤ Pan

30 Day Yaoi Challenge (All in One Post~)

Heads Up: I started this post back in the summer….and I got too lazy when it came to changing the tenses. So there will be “updates” scattered throughout this post. 😀 Now then, carry on~!


Quick shout-out to Geo at MyFujoshiLife, but I simply could not resist getting my hands on this as well. ; u ;

Hey guys! As a way of relieving some stress and to add onto my laziness, I decided to take the 30 Day Yaoi Challenge by OhFuckYaoi on Tumblr. As a part of my laziness, I’m going to write about all thirty days here on one post (just as the title mentions). So, lets get started~!

Day 1 – The first yaoi you ever read/watched.

The first official yaoi I ever read (and physically hand in my hands) was Crimson Spell by Yamane Anno. This was back in the glory days, before R-18 books became sealed and people weren’t deceived by pretty covers. Since then, I’ve regretted nothing about my lifestyle or my shameless interest in BL.

The first yaoi I actually watched was Gravitation. My younger self made some pretty interesting choices back in the day. I would stay up until the late hours of night just to watch Gravitation. It got to the point where I would look over my shoulder just to make sure I wasn’t waking up people with my fangirling. I still have issues when it comes to watching it, but I still can’t get into it even after trying to watch it again some years down the road. I tried watching the series again with my friend O-chan a few years ago, but I ended up falling asleep after a few episodes.

Honestly not sure what I was thinking when I first watched Gravitation….but at least it’s a better love story than Boku no Pico.


Gravitation © Studio Deen

Day 2 – Favorite yaoi manga.

I would have to say Akiyama-kun. I plan on doing a review over the manga, so I won’t go into the full details as to why just yet. You’re just going to have to wait~ 😉

UPDATE: It’s hard to pick just one since I’m still learning about new BL / yaoi manga, but I still consider Akiyama-kun to be one of my favorites along with Sleeping Moon.

Day 3 – Favorite animated yaoi.

I haven’t really expanded my yaoi anime, but I would have to go with Sekaiichi Hatsukoi on this one. BUT I’m also really hyped to finally see Doukyuusei finally being animated!!! I will make another post about my excitement, but I was really happy when I woke up to that news a while back. Q u Q

Day 4 – An anime series you think should have been a yaoi.

Obviously Kuroko no Basuke. I mean, jeezus lord!!! q/////q Guys touching balls on and off the court. I feel like I could make lame / sexy basketball jokes all day, but I will try to save that for another time.

A few other series would have to be Haikyuu!!, Danshi Koukousei no Nichijou, Samurai Flamenco and Meganebu!. All of which for obvious reasons. Free! had already dipped it’s toe into male x male water when the trailer first blew up. Ahh yes, I remember the days of Shota-chan and Glasses-chan before they were given names. I remember how people got their personalities all wrong and Rei became the dork we all know and love to this day.

Good times. Good times.

I still need to finish Samurai Flamenco. Orz.

Samurai Flamenco © Manglobe

Day 5 – Favorite seme.

Levi Ackerman. *casually fans self* I would marry that man in a heartbeat… Not even gonna lie. One can only dream when it comes to this man. By the way he counts, right? Right?… Hnnnggn… Just look at those bedroom eyes!!!

Attack on Titan: No Regrets © Wit Studio

Day 6 – The reason you love yaoi.

To be honest, I used to be a hardcore shojo girl after I went through a period of trying to deny the fact that I enjoyed reading male x male interaction. One my favorites at the time was Vampire Knight, but when the actual story stopped progressing, I stopped reading. (Not to mention the way it ended was pretty messed up in my opinion). Kaname and Zero had more sexual tension and Yuki simply couldn’t make up her damn mind. No matter what kind of shojo I read, the female characters didn’t seem relatable to me. I didn’t want to read about main characters who seemed helpless, easy to use, indecisive or…meek. I simply wanted characters with edge and personality. In short, someone that I could identify with while reading the story or watching the animation.

The reason I like yaoi is because I find it to be more relatable than male x female shojo. Keep in mind that I do read Shounen Oujo (*internal squealing*), and I love the characters to pieces because I can relate to nearly all of them. Though, strangely, I identify more with male characters in yaoi. I like the chemistry that takes place between them and I like seeing how the relationship works out or doesn’t in the the end. BUT, yaoi is NOT a perfect genre. Everything has pros and cons, and I do not agree with everything that happens in yaoi manga. Like excessive non-con, but I’m going to leave that long winded rant for a future post. 🙂

UPDATE: I’ve recently been playing a lot of otome games and have been able to relate to the female characters. I will most likely end up writing some form of brief post about my adventures in otome land. (*^^*)v

Day 7 – Your OTP.

Pfffft, just one?

I’ve been around the block since I was fourteen, so I have too many ships to count. Though, I do have a few ships that I doubt will never die. The first two being the ships I “grew up” on: Thiefshipping and Light x L (also vice versa). *sighs from nostalgia* Currently my die hard ships are YuYosuke, Kimchiburger, AmeCan, Rivarmin, KawoShin and HideKane. I could talk about these ships and make headcanons all day. They give me joy, and sometimes cause me to need more oxygen than the average human being. I’ve gotten upset over these ships, I’ve roleplayed nearly all of them and I’ve legitimately cried over them. Especially HideKane. It’s an upsetting ship, but it gives me joy and makes my heart swell (with tears).

Shipping is love.

Shipping is life.

And these ships got me feelin’ some type of way….

Meganebu! © Studio Deen

Day 8 – Favorite love scene.

When I find a favorite one I will be sure to update this part. My brain is a completely failure right now. XD

Day 9 – Favorite uke.

Onodera Ritsu, mostly because he reminds me a lot of myself (though I’m not extremely jaded). Onodera is probably the most relatable character I’ve come across in a yaoi manga / anime (as of now). He’s pretty independent, wants a relationship yet doesn’t want one, and I can understand why he’s irritable and mad most of the time. He falls in love with someone, yet he doesn’t want anything to do with them because he’s trying to focus on his work. Onodera is pretty complicated, which is why he’s my favorite uke in the yaoi world. 🙂

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi © Studio Deen

Day 10 – List the yaoi you own.

It’s a very, very (sadly) small collection, so I apologize in advance…

CIEL January 2015
CIEL Emerald June 2015
CIEL July 2015

Entangled Circumstances
Sleeping Moon vol 1
Crimson Spell vol 1
I’ve Seen it All vol 1 & 2
over 30 volumes of manga that I got while roaming the streets of Japan

Anime (downloaded until I can actually buy them)
Sekaiichi Hatsukoi seasons 1 & 2
Junjou Romantica seasons 1 & 2
Hybrid Child
Gakuen Heaven
Love Stage

Day 11 – Favorite yaoi mangaka.

Miyamoto Kano. I simply cannot express how much I adore her art style and I how I honestly with I could be one of her assistants. Her manga style is one that I can recognize right off the bat and just- *hides from shame*

Day 12 – Favorite yaoi voice actor.

……Not sure if I have a favorite. o.o;;

Day 13 – Favorite doujinshi.

My favorite is actually a Tales of Symphonia one between Lloyd and Zelos. I believe it was by the circle Pink Power. I’m in love with their art style, but I can’t remember the doujinshi for the life of me…. It’s not Cranberry Red and it’s not Eternal Embrace either….. *flips a table* This section will also be updated when I’m actually able to find the doujinshi I’m thinking of. If you are unfamiliar with Pink Power, I would definitely recommend their work. 🙂

UPDATE: I FOUND IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s called そして天使は腕の中に (Soshite Tenshi wa Ude no Naka ni) by Pink Power. I’ve been tracking the name of this doujinshi down for literally three hours now. Thankfully I was able to find it here. I honestly don’t remember if this doujin has been scanlated, but I do have it saved somewhere on my old computer. Again, I definitely recommend Pink Power. You can find a list of all their doujinshi on The Manga and Doujinshi Lexicon. I would also use this site if you vaguely remember the name of a title or there is something you used to read but completely forget about it like I did. :’D

Just look at how friggin pretty Zelos is!!! *melts onto the desk while happily crying*

Day 14 – Would you be a seme or uke.

According to the Seme-Uke Quiz I am a Flaming Uke….and I believe every word of it applies to my daily life. xD

Day 15 – Recommend a yaoi for your followers.

Hmmm…. It would be hard to recommend just one. Every yaoi / BL fan has different tastes, so I would recommend that you guys explore what’s available. (And keep me posted because I’m nosy when it comes to what kind of BL you guys like. Q u Q)

Day 16 – Favorite opening theme song.

[[lemmie get back to you on this one~]]

Day 17 – Favorite yaoi website.

For “what” exactly? This prompt is actually pretty vague now that I think about it…. In terms of role-playing, I’ve only been exposed to YaoiOtaku. The people are nice, very diverse RP styles and it’s a lively community. Pretty much everything I look for in a role-play forum. There are others such as   but I’ve never made an account there. In terms of watching/streaming anime, Crunchyroll is always an option (even if the option are limited). So I would recommend KissAnime or ChiaAnime for your streaming fixes.

Day 18 – A yaoi that broke your heart.

Not sure if I’ve found one yet….

Day 19 – Yaoi manga you think should be animated.

Sleeping Moon~ I just really love Miyamoto Kano, okay? Q u Q Also Lamento -Beyond the Void-. There’s a manga for it, but it’s hard to read the kanji without furigana.

Day 20 – Favorite theme. (School life, vampires, neko.. ect..)

Professional vs Personal Life with a dash of drama
Daily Life
High school
Childhood friends turned lovers
When the ex-boyfriend comes back into the picture and tries to steal the new boyfriend away
juuuuusst to name a few.

Day 21 – Link to your favorite fanfiction.

Favorite fanfiction featuring various OTPS:
YuYosuke – Because It’s You by winterinmyveins
Hidekane – When Wilted Flowers Bloom by yourrain
Kimchiburger – Of Constellations and Lord of the Rings by SaturnineMartial
Rivarmin – Little Things by Sebastina_Michaelis

Day 22 – Hardcore or softcore?

A delicious mix of both. 🙂

There are days when I want something soft and fluffy like whipped cream, and other times I desire something sensual and filling.

Day 23 – Favorite type of male. (appearance)

In terms of yaoi (and my limited dating sim exposure), I seem to go for the older, laid-back gentleman character. I appreciate nicely kept facial hair, I’m a sucker for black hair with green or blue eyes, I like male characters with longer hair or characters that are complete dorks. Oh yeah, and red heads!!

Day 24 – A yaoi that made you mad.

I’m not even going to go into the details about this one, but feel free to read it here. ^^;;;;;;;

Day 25 – Your favorite drawing style.

Ahhhhh, there’s too many to chose from. ;_____;

Day 26 – A yaoi you’ve been intending to read/watch.

MyAnimeList account is filled with yaoi that I plan on watching and reading, if you’re interested in taking a peek. Though, right off the bad, I would say that I’m interested in reading more of the manga created by artists in CIEL magazine. I mostly want to read from magazines to find new styles and artists to admire, but I will (eventually) knock off a few titles from my list collection. It’s summer time now, so I really don’t have an excuse not to read something. (Unless I’m working >~<;;; )

Day 27 – Pick a song that best fits your favorite pairing.

O-chan and I agree that part of the lyrics in this song reflect HideKane after I had sad feels.

Day 28 – Anything you want thats yaoi related.

Another trip to Book-Off so that I can buy more cheap manga.

Day 29 – A yaoi that made you happy.

Technically shounen-ai, but This Boy Caught a Merman always makes me happy when I watch the ending.

Day 30 – A yaoi you will always love.

Pretty much anything that I really enjoy reading and watching. 🙂



Aaaaahhh! I did it! Do I win a prize, or do I just curl up in the corner of shame? :’D

Anywho, I really hope that you enjoyed reading this, even if it’s long and might contain some rambles. If you also wish to do this 30 Day Challenge, I say go for it! I found that it really helped so that I can continue connecting with you guys. As I keep mentioning, I enjoy writing content for this blog and I’m so happy to see and read that people enjoy Pantastic Panda. I hope to keep this going for as long as possible, to keep nurturing this blog and see where it takes me in the future. Hopefully you guys will stick around for the ride? I hope so too.

As always, take care~
❤ Pan

Meganebu! © Studio Deen

Hey Pan! Where Have You Been??!

Hey guys~!

I realize that I haven’t posted anything since November, and I apologize for that. Both November and December were pretty rough months for me, and I was out of the country most of January. Things are still pretty rough, but I do plan on getting back into the swing of things with this blog.

I’ve really missed you guys and I’m sorry that I kept you waiting.

While I was in Japan I bought a lot of things that I hope to review for you  guys. I missed out my Second Anniversary of Pantastic Panda, so I’ve no idea how the stats have changed. >~<;; BUT I just got an idea for what I can do for a (Hella) Belated Second Anniversary post.

Again, I’m very sorry that I kept you guys waiting. ;_____; Good things (especially smutty things) are coming, so I hope that you will continue to look forward to them~!

Until next time,
❤ Pan

Dating Sims + Working Out: Nensyou! for girls

Hey guys!

If you missed out on a few of my tweets from earlier today, I’m going to try my best to get in (some form of) shape before I leave for Japan after Winter Break. I’m used to walking around on campus, but there will be waaaaaaaay more walking in Japan. Which means that I need to build up my endurance.

ねんしょう!(Nensyou! or Nenshou!) which has been translated to “Burn Your Fat With Me!” is an otome game where you advance by exercising and burning calories with a cute 2D guy. The more you exercise, the more points you unlock to purchase in-game content and proceed in the game. I’ve only finished the prologue, but I wanted to quickly type out my impressions of the game.

I heard about Nensyou! back in April on Crunchyroll, but I didn’t think much about it afterwards. But, lately, I’ve realized that I haven’t been in shape since high school. I do a lot of walking around campus, but walking can only do so much. Since I always have my phone with me, I decided to look into the game again.

The first character you meet is Katsuragi Kei. He’s easy on the eyes but that’s pretty much it for right now. The female character comes for a rich family but was forced to apply to the academy by her family. I rarely ever find the main female character in otome games to be relatable, but this girl only wants to draw manga for the rest of her life. Which immediately made her 100% relatable for me.

After going back and forth with this guy for a while, he finally decides that he will take some time out of his busy schedule to help you get started on the path to fitness. There’s an alarm setting within the app, so he will visit you once a day (or so it seems) to personally train with you. The first part of training consists of sit-ups with squats and knee push-ups appearing later in the game. Soft and Hard are the only two difficulty settings, so decided to go with Soft for now. It was a little difficult trying to balance my phone on my knee to complete the sit-ups, but Kei is nice enough to count for you every time you tap the screen. Once your exercise is complete, he’s also nice enough to congratulate you and ask how you feel afterwards.

From what O-chan told me, Kei will get a little huffy if you decide to skip on the first set of five sit-ups.  I had nothing else to do, so I dragged myself onto the floor and did the exercise. I haven’t done sit-ups in a really long time, so I felt the burn…..

And proceeded to share an XL pizza from Papa Johns with O-chan. Kei would be so proud of my habits! :’D

I will admit, Kei can be a jerk with pretty sparkles. BUT I find his English VA to be interesting and there are some comedic moments in the prologue. When I didn’t do my first crunch he said, “Oh come on! You can’t tell me you’re tired already!” To which I responded that I haven’t moved yet because I was confused, and he sighed.

I feel as if this game is meant to be interactive and that motivates you to keep working out. Which I actually plan to keep doing in the future. The exercise isn’t too hard and it’s something that I can easily do on the floor of my studio apartment before taking a shower. But keep this in mind guys, this isn’t a game for everyone. If you do a quick Google search there are different opinions on the game. Most of them being that the game is fat-shaming the women that play it and is very insulting. So please, please keep these opinions in mind before you decide to hit that download / install button. It’s perfectly okay not to like something. 🙂


If you are interested in playing, you can find Nensyou! on Google Play and and the App Store. Also, if you have a Dropbox account, you can backup your game data there. O-chan has the game and recommended that I do that. Again, do some research before deciding if you want to play this game or not. Personally, I was laughing too hard to be offended. I literally could eat two servings for a dish and not feel ashamed about it. Kei is a jerk, but I’m actually more interested in Ryuji~

I’m still really behind on NaBloPoMo, but Thanksgiving Break starts tomorrow and I will have a week to relax and catch up on the things I love. If you guys haven’t seen One Punch Man yet….you should. I watched it with a friend of mine and it’s one of the greatest things I’ve seen this year.

Until next time,
Pan ❤

A Peek into Pan’s Sketchbook

Hey guys! 😀

It’s times like this when I honestly wish I wasn’t a busy college student…. Committing to grades really isn’t my thing, and it puts a damper on my creativity. Since I’m really behind on NaBloPoMo right now, I wanted to take some time to show you guys some of my art / sketches. I remember writing in a previous post that this was something I wanted to do but I don’t remember which post it was…. If I happen to remember I will edit this one with a link!

Lately I’ve been posting a lot of my quick sketches on PaigeeWorld. I’m still pretty new to the site, but it’s been a fun experience so far. (Even submitted an application to a yaoi RP group~!) I get to see a lot of art work when I check from the Android app and that motivates me a lot. Similar to Instagram (which I want to use more for cosplay) I follow a lot of artists there to keep myself as motivated as possible. Digital art is still very, very, very frustrating to work with, but I’m trying. Gotta gain those experience points! ^^;;

Anywho, here are a few things I’ve selected from my sketchbooks over the years. 🙂




Older work from 2013 (?)

Current drawing style~

Originally posted on dA. First attempt at an all digital piece in 2013


My OC Yona. Traps are my life and I adore him Q u Q

Facebook (which I’m not really active on)

Closer to my current style ❤

Selfie Doodle

Older work, but not as embarrassing as anything that came before 2011 ^^;;;

2014 (?) – Slight style change

Feel free to tell me what you think! Sorry I haven’t been as active as I hoped I would be. Q______Q

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Just Finished Submitting For the JET Program

Hey guys! 😀

For the past month I have been busily working on my application for the JET Program, and I am more than happy to admit that I’ve just finished submitting the online portion of my application! :’D


The application took a LOT of time but the process has toned down over the years. From what the representative told the group of applicants, the process used to require three copies of everything in the application, but the online portion has made things a lot smoother. (Which means less printed paper!)

To be honest, I’m worried about how things will go with this application. I’m trying not to get too worried, but it’s kind of hard not to after all the work that was put into this. ^^;;;; All that’s left is to print off a physical copy of the application, mail it off to Washington D.C. and wait to hear if I’ve been approved for an interview or not. Here’s to hoping to secure a job after graduation! Gosh that was stressful…

(Hopefully my brain makes sense at 2AM.)

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Preparing for Japan

Hey guys! 😀

I know it hasn’t been that long since I posted about how excited I was about finally being able to go to Japan, but the excitement has only been growing with each passing day. Though, to be honest, I probably won’t cry until I’ve landed at Narita International Airport.


Turns out we are flying from DFW ^^;;

But lately I’ve been thinking about what I actually need to take with me. I’ve never flown on a plane yet alone left my country. Most of my international travel advice either comes from my friends, YouTube or from me simply wasting hours of my life searching for information. I mostly look for information that comes from an African-American / Black perspective since they are the most relateable. Years ago it was hard to find black YouTubers who had travel experience in Japan, but growth in numbers has been motivational and very inspiring. KemushiChan was one of the first black YouTubers I had found, and now I’m subscribed to many black YouTubers like Sonni UsaChan.

Hopefully I didn’t get too distracted just then, but my mind is scrambling all over the place right now.

First thing first: winter clothes. In my tiny area of north-east Texas, it gets cold but not cooooold. Since we will be in Chiba for a while, I’ve been told that it get’s really, really cold in Chiba. Being that I am a wimp when it comes to the cold (unless I’m sleeping under piles of blankets) I will have to buy a legit coat along with comfortable walking shoes for the month.

Secondly, a decent travel bag. I’m currently look at this this bag here on Amazon. It’s a lot bigger than the bag I was considering on MochiThings and I need something that will fit my 11-in computer. If my conversions were right, this bag should easily fit Kunoi. (I will post a picture of her at some point, but this is the computer I bought so I would be able to do work for classes and other simple things.)

Lastly, a gift to bring my host family. I managed to write a letter to them in Japanese, so I’m really looking forward to meeting them! I just have no idea what I should bring as a suitable gift. >_____<;;;;;;

I’m also thinking about a list of places I would like to visit during my free days. On free days (from what sensei told me) the students are able to explore Tokyo on their own. I told M-chan that we would be able to meet up during one of my free days and she told me to send her a list of places. This will be my first time meeting her, so I’m really excited!! If you are new to my blog, M-chan is a friend of mine who lives in Japan. We’ve been pen pals / language exchange partners for nearly four years, so January is an exciting time for both of us. Q u Q


I will be on the hunt for so many things in Ikebukuro. Otome Road will eat my wallet and I am perfectly okay with that. Food is still important, but buying things is food for the soul. Rich in feels and high in sodium (tears).

Pan’s (Current) Shopping List:

  • one item with each husbando on it (click here for the husbando list~)
  • Kawoshin. Kawoshin. KAWOSHIN!!!
  • Persona 4
  • Shin Megami Tensei
  • Tokyo Ghoul
  • Kuroko no Basuke
  • small things to decorate my apartment
  • clothes
  • manga
  • manga
  • manga
  • food

Still two days behind for NaBloPoMo, but I’m trying to catch up. I will be pretty busy this weekend, so I will be writing / planning blog posts offline and uploading them whenever I get the chance. 🙂

Sorry if this one was rather short! Q__Q

Until next time,
Pan ❤

A Brief Analysis on Shipping

Hey guys! 😀

I’m a little behind on NaBloPoMo but things are getting hectic at school. If I end up making two posts today, that would be awesome. If not, then I will try to catch up while I’m at work on Friday night. I’m trying not to keep you guys waiting too long. Q u Q

While washing the dishes this morning I had a sudden thought. That thought being: what causes me to ship two characters together? It’s something that I’ve never taken the time to briefly examine, so I hope to do my thought some justice in the blog post. As always, get comfy while Pan spins another tale. 🙂

The first thing that I analyze in a paring is their chemistry. I admit, I have a habit of pairing characters simply based on appearance, but I always take the time to consider how Character X and Character Y interact with each other. If I view these interactions as more negative than positive, than the ship simply will not work in my mind. If they have more positive interactions the ship will work. In terms of crack chips, I do some heavy soul searching and rely on headcanons presented by others as well as my own. The way the possible ship is presented in canon media – by this I mean anything officially acknowledged by the original creator – is not the only thing I consider when making a final decision.

Unofficial media – mostly fanart – also changes how my opinion of a ship is changed. A few of these negative interactions for me involve: physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse, no signs of consent and intense stalking. Basically anything I would personally deem as unhealthy in a relationship. If a majority of fanart reflects the negative chemistry I’ve seen in a pairing, I tend to avoid it.




Though there are moments when NOtps cannot be avoided. One example of this is when I once left the pub on campus due to the Hetalia ship of USUK. I vaguely remember how it happened, but I do remember walking back to my suite at the time. Another instance comes from blocking the Ereri / Riren tag on Tumblr. The Ereri / Riren example happened after trying to gloss over the constant flood of domestic violence and even degrading sexual situations that appeared on my dash. Not everyone tags their posts on Tumblr, so the occasional NOtp manages to slip through. It’s something that I’ve come to accept. That was when I reached the point where I couldn’t handle the ship anymore. I honestly did like Ereri / Riren at one point, but the abusive fanart changed my opinion drastically. (And then Rivarmin came into my life. <3)

Keep in mind, I have friends who adore the ships that I don’t like. Just as I love ships that they don’t like, but we still spazz over the ships we share in common. Never stop talking to someone just because they don’t like the same ship or fandom as you. Friendship is more important than some silly ship.

Once chemistry has been established I move on to platonic interaction. Not every ship needs to be sexual, so I try to keep in mind that non-sexual interactions do happen. It is highly possible to view as ship as asexual and that the characters are more emotionally attracted to each other. To be honest, there should be more asexual ships in the world. I plan on going into more detail about my particular ships, but a good example of platonic interaction would be Kawoshin from Evangelion. I could argue in circles that this ship is canon, but there are better examples out there on the internet. As much as I love smut, not everything about a ship has to be smutty.

Rebuild of Evangelion © Studio Khara

In terms of romance, I do believe that opposites attract. That opposite personalities can somehow balance each other out. If both characters are too similar the ship simply will not work in my mind. There has to be some clash in personality that works toward understanding. Too much clash and things can quickly turn into a negative interaction. Which is something I wouldn’t want to happen in a ship.

In other words, I look for elements that I would personally like to see in a relationship. You could say that my shipping choices reflect various aspects of how I feel relationships should be.

Hopefully you enjoyed this installment of Coming out Fujoshi. I have more stories in store, so you hope you guys look forward to them! So, how do you go about shipping characters? Feel free to leave a comment below or a response post on your own blog. Just feel free to link back to here so I can stalk check out what you wrote! 😀

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Talking About My Degree

Hey guys! 😀

I recently started thinking about writing this after a good number of people ask me, “So, what are you studying?” immediately after I tell them that I will be graduating from my university in May. The idea of writing this was sparked after a recent trip to the bank to see about getting a loan for a new computer. (HEADS UP: Which was sadly denied, but I still ended up getting a cheaper computer some months later.)

What are you going to do with your degree?

What are your plans for the future?

What about a job?

These are also questions that I tend to get asked a lot when it comes to my degree. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I’m majoring in Japanese and minoring in Asian Studies. And, to be completely honest, I still don’t “fully” know what I want to do. By “fully”, I mean that I have so many things that I want to do, but the future is kind of foggy right now. The path I really want requires hopping onto a number milestones from one side of the large pond to another. Manga school is the path I really want, but (and though I groan at the thought) I also need more secure paths before leaping right onto that large milestone.

Usually I dive into situations and don’t second guess myself until it’s nearly too late. Since this is one of the largest decisions of my life, I at least want to try to make things a little smoother on myself. Manga and comic style art have been a huge impact on my life, so I feel that it is something that I would absolutely love to work with for the rest of my life. American society is not that accepting though, especially in Northeast Texas (where opportunities are limited unless you choose nursing, sports, etc.)

The largest secure path is an English teaching job in East Asia. After over three years of attending JET Program related events, I finally decided that I would apply this year. Keep in mind, applications opened in October and the deadline is November 13th. I’ve already spoken with my Japanese professor (who is also a former JET Assistant Language Teacher) and he’s told me that he’s willing to help me out with any questions or concerns I have throughout the application process. The Statement of Purpose is the most time consuming area of the application, but I’m nearly done. If not through JET, there are also programs like Interact that I’m willing to look deeper into. NOVA is also an option, but I really need to look deeper into the organization before completely considering it. Outside of Japan there is EPIK in South Korea. As for China, I haven’t really looked into possible English teaching jobs.

For as long as I can remember I’ve always questioned, “What will happen in the future?” compared to “What is going to happen today?”. I’m always worried about tomorrow and not so much about what is going on during the present. I get so worried that it often reflects in my dreams. My degree is seen as strange to some people in my family. Something that won’t make me a lot of money, which is important for paying off student loans, but not very satisfying in the end. It hurts to be told to focus on what makes more money besides what will actually make me happy.

What makes me happy is the thought of being able to tell stories with visuals. What makes me happy is being able to share an experience that people will be able to relate to. Though I’m not sure how working will manga and comic art will work out for me in the end, I’m still willing to keep moving towards that path. 🙂

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Pan’s Armada: Husbandos

Hey guys! 😀

It’s officially 5 AM on the first day of NaBloPoMo! I should be sleeping, but I have reached the point where sleep is overrated and that I should type this before I leave my friend’s wifi connection. Priorities, right?

Let’s face it, at some point in our fandom lives we’ve reached the level where we have some form of crush on a two-dimensional character. Over the years these crushes earned the name “husbando” and “waifu“. Don’t get me wrong, I honestly didn’t know these terms existed until I started college, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you when they first came to be. (But if you want to read a post explaining the terms and relating to characters, then check out Rok the Reaper.) When I use the term “husbando”, it’s only used when talking to my close friends. Outside of my circle I usually use the term “fictional crushes”. When all else fails, I refer to my fictional crushes as “bae material”. Keep in mind most of the conversations involve me fanning myself and wiping away the growing tears from my eyes.

I feel that deeply and sometimes it’s pretty embarrassing. Especially to admit here, then again I can be very shameless.

But enough my introductory rant, it’s time to read about the fictional men that impacted my life (and my wallet)!

The original husbando: Axel

Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

Axel is literally the reason why I always go for the red-head men in dating sims. (See, shameless?) After playing Kingdom Hearts 2, I was addicted to this man. That red hair and those green eyes should seriously be an illegal combination…  I think it was early in my high school years when I realized that, “Hey, this guy is attractive. I dunno why, but he is.” After role-playing with a friend of mine during that time, I realized that Axel was rather melt worthy. If that doesn’t make any sense, imagine any attractive person of your choice and amplify that by ten. If you have to fan yourself, than they are definitely melt worthy.

Axel was bae material years before I even knew the word was an acronym. This man had some mysterious, edgy cool factor that drew me in while playing KH2 and I didn’t regret a second of my attraction towards him. Even to this day I still have nostalgic moments of me crying during his death scene. Spoilers for those who have not played the game. If you haven’t played the Kingdom Hearts series yet, I would definitely recommend it. Just not Chain of Memories. We do not speak of Chain of Memories unless you are a fan of rotating cards. *shivers* I couldn’t make it through the game.

The one that hit me super hard: Matsuoka Rin

Free! © Kyoto Animation

Another red-haired man that I fell for, but a little harder than I did with Axel. Axel may have set the standard requirements for a husbando, but this guy took it a little further. I honestly was NOT prepared when this dork came into my life. “Who is this shark-toothed gentlemen and why am I swooning?” I don’t know what caused this fellow to come into my life like a wrecking ball, but I decided to jump on and savor the moment. I wanted to watch Free! because it was something different, I was still on a sports anime binge and the hype was too contagious to resist. Season one Rin will always be my favorite, but I can easily appreciate season two Rin who mellowed out. Keep in mind that I still have yet to finish season two of Free!, but I am looking forward to seeing High Speed!.

Fans don’t like Rin, and that’s perfectly okay. This is a judge free zone. To be honest, my initial impression of Rin in the first few episodes was that he was selfish and had a big ego. Towards the middle of the first season I started to warm up to him. I admit, he had issues to work through in season one, which is all the more reason I can appreciate season two Rin.

The least loved, but still very important: Ryouta Kise

Kuroko no Basuske © Production I.G

Don’t get me wrong, I still adore Kise to pieces. Lately, out of all my husbandos he gets the least amount of love and acknowledgement. I realized Kise was my favorite when I got to see beyond the pretty eyelashes. He has his dorky moments, he cares about people and has his own unique swagger. The things this man does should be illegal sometimes. One moment he’s just pretty, the next he’s being a precious dork and then he brings out the smolder. Once those eyes narrow and he becomes serious, it’s time to hold on tight something because the bartender is really shaking things up. Sometimes I forget how to breathe while watching Kuroko no Basuke and that’s not very healthy. I cried so hard over Kise while watching KnB. Man tears are a huge weakness of mine and there were not enough tissues in the room at that time.

But it’s because of Kise that I go on guilty Tumblr binges. While watching a few episodes of season three my friend O-chan told me that I was blowing up her dash. Because he doesn’t get enough love I go on a reblogging spree and make sobbing noises. I’m a terrible person, but O-chan describes Kise as: the pretty husband who smiles, sits in a corner and waves. Kise is basically your trophy wife.

…….I’m terrible. Q____Q

The current favorite: Levi Ackerman

Shingeki no Kyojin © Wit Studio / Production I. G

First and foremost, my addiction to this man is at an extreme. When someone gives me something Levi related as a gift I hyperventilate if not get teary eyed and start making incoherent noise. I don’t see myself having any form of shrine (mostly because the commitment would financially break me and they sometimes weird me out), so I’m content with the collection I have growing. Slowly yet sure my Levi collection is growing.

Lately I’ve found myself leaning towards dark-haired older men. A great example if this is Chakura Johji from Dreamy Days in West Tokyo. Johji is just an example, but Levi is the one who kickstarted this new area is my life. The thing about Levi is that he’s not a character that is deeply examined. He’s not just a clean freak, he doesn’t just kick the shit out of Eren all the time (no I do NOT ship it), he’s not just some old man who drinks tea and makes shit-related jokes and he isn’t just a badass. This man seen a lot, lost people very dear to him and lives in a messed up world. So of course he’s distant, but there is way, way more to Levi than just his outer appearance. This man has exceeded the requirements for bae material and my shamelessness at RPing my OTP from Shingeki no Kyojin.

Whew! I would say we are off to a successful start guys! Not bad for a first day, right? Speaking of OTPs and shipping, that will be a future post for NaBloPoMo. Also some more language learning posts, posts about what I would like to do with my college degree, reviews and topics that you guys suggest. I plan to cater to a variety of interests and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. 🙂

Now it’s your turn. That is, if you would like to share: who are your fictional crushes / husbandos / waifus / baes / etc.? I’m honestly not familiar with the waifu territory, so I wouldn’t be able to do that area justice.

One day down, twenty-nine more to go. Bring plenty of blankets, pajamas, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, snacks, plushies and pillows, because we are having a giant slumber party this month!

Until next time,
Pan ❤