Just Finished Submitting For the JET Program

Hey guys! 😀

For the past month I have been busily working on my application for the JET Program, and I am more than happy to admit that I’ve just finished submitting the online portion of my application! :’D


The application took a LOT of time but the process has toned down over the years. From what the representative told the group of applicants, the process used to require three copies of everything in the application, but the online portion has made things a lot smoother. (Which means less printed paper!)

To be honest, I’m worried about how things will go with this application. I’m trying not to get too worried, but it’s kind of hard not to after all the work that was put into this. ^^;;;; All that’s left is to print off a physical copy of the application, mail it off to Washington D.C. and wait to hear if I’ve been approved for an interview or not. Here’s to hoping to secure a job after graduation! Gosh that was stressful…

(Hopefully my brain makes sense at 2AM.)

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Preparing for Japan

Hey guys! 😀

I know it hasn’t been that long since I posted about how excited I was about finally being able to go to Japan, but the excitement has only been growing with each passing day. Though, to be honest, I probably won’t cry until I’ve landed at Narita International Airport.


Turns out we are flying from DFW ^^;;

But lately I’ve been thinking about what I actually need to take with me. I’ve never flown on a plane yet alone left my country. Most of my international travel advice either comes from my friends, YouTube or from me simply wasting hours of my life searching for information. I mostly look for information that comes from an African-American / Black perspective since they are the most relateable. Years ago it was hard to find black YouTubers who had travel experience in Japan, but growth in numbers has been motivational and very inspiring. KemushiChan was one of the first black YouTubers I had found, and now I’m subscribed to many black YouTubers like Sonni UsaChan.

Hopefully I didn’t get too distracted just then, but my mind is scrambling all over the place right now.

First thing first: winter clothes. In my tiny area of north-east Texas, it gets cold but not cooooold. Since we will be in Chiba for a while, I’ve been told that it get’s really, really cold in Chiba. Being that I am a wimp when it comes to the cold (unless I’m sleeping under piles of blankets) I will have to buy a legit coat along with comfortable walking shoes for the month.

Secondly, a decent travel bag. I’m currently look at this this bag here on Amazon. It’s a lot bigger than the bag I was considering on MochiThings and I need something that will fit my 11-in computer. If my conversions were right, this bag should easily fit Kunoi. (I will post a picture of her at some point, but this is the computer I bought so I would be able to do work for classes and other simple things.)

Lastly, a gift to bring my host family. I managed to write a letter to them in Japanese, so I’m really looking forward to meeting them! I just have no idea what I should bring as a suitable gift. >_____<;;;;;;

I’m also thinking about a list of places I would like to visit during my free days. On free days (from what sensei told me) the students are able to explore Tokyo on their own. I told M-chan that we would be able to meet up during one of my free days and she told me to send her a list of places. This will be my first time meeting her, so I’m really excited!! If you are new to my blog, M-chan is a friend of mine who lives in Japan. We’ve been pen pals / language exchange partners for nearly four years, so January is an exciting time for both of us. Q u Q


I will be on the hunt for so many things in Ikebukuro. Otome Road will eat my wallet and I am perfectly okay with that. Food is still important, but buying things is food for the soul. Rich in feels and high in sodium (tears).

Pan’s (Current) Shopping List:

  • one item with each husbando on it (click here for the husbando list~)
  • Kawoshin. Kawoshin. KAWOSHIN!!!
  • Persona 4
  • Shin Megami Tensei
  • Tokyo Ghoul
  • Kuroko no Basuke
  • small things to decorate my apartment
  • clothes
  • manga
  • manga
  • manga
  • food

Still two days behind for NaBloPoMo, but I’m trying to catch up. I will be pretty busy this weekend, so I will be writing / planning blog posts offline and uploading them whenever I get the chance. 🙂

Sorry if this one was rather short! Q__Q

Until next time,
Pan ❤

A Brief Analysis on Shipping

Hey guys! 😀

I’m a little behind on NaBloPoMo but things are getting hectic at school. If I end up making two posts today, that would be awesome. If not, then I will try to catch up while I’m at work on Friday night. I’m trying not to keep you guys waiting too long. Q u Q

While washing the dishes this morning I had a sudden thought. That thought being: what causes me to ship two characters together? It’s something that I’ve never taken the time to briefly examine, so I hope to do my thought some justice in the blog post. As always, get comfy while Pan spins another tale. 🙂

The first thing that I analyze in a paring is their chemistry. I admit, I have a habit of pairing characters simply based on appearance, but I always take the time to consider how Character X and Character Y interact with each other. If I view these interactions as more negative than positive, than the ship simply will not work in my mind. If they have more positive interactions the ship will work. In terms of crack chips, I do some heavy soul searching and rely on headcanons presented by others as well as my own. The way the possible ship is presented in canon media – by this I mean anything officially acknowledged by the original creator – is not the only thing I consider when making a final decision.

Unofficial media – mostly fanart – also changes how my opinion of a ship is changed. A few of these negative interactions for me involve: physical, verbal, emotional and psychological abuse, no signs of consent and intense stalking. Basically anything I would personally deem as unhealthy in a relationship. If a majority of fanart reflects the negative chemistry I’ve seen in a pairing, I tend to avoid it.




Though there are moments when NOtps cannot be avoided. One example of this is when I once left the pub on campus due to the Hetalia ship of USUK. I vaguely remember how it happened, but I do remember walking back to my suite at the time. Another instance comes from blocking the Ereri / Riren tag on Tumblr. The Ereri / Riren example happened after trying to gloss over the constant flood of domestic violence and even degrading sexual situations that appeared on my dash. Not everyone tags their posts on Tumblr, so the occasional NOtp manages to slip through. It’s something that I’ve come to accept. That was when I reached the point where I couldn’t handle the ship anymore. I honestly did like Ereri / Riren at one point, but the abusive fanart changed my opinion drastically. (And then Rivarmin came into my life. <3)

Keep in mind, I have friends who adore the ships that I don’t like. Just as I love ships that they don’t like, but we still spazz over the ships we share in common. Never stop talking to someone just because they don’t like the same ship or fandom as you. Friendship is more important than some silly ship.

Once chemistry has been established I move on to platonic interaction. Not every ship needs to be sexual, so I try to keep in mind that non-sexual interactions do happen. It is highly possible to view as ship as asexual and that the characters are more emotionally attracted to each other. To be honest, there should be more asexual ships in the world. I plan on going into more detail about my particular ships, but a good example of platonic interaction would be Kawoshin from Evangelion. I could argue in circles that this ship is canon, but there are better examples out there on the internet. As much as I love smut, not everything about a ship has to be smutty.

Rebuild of Evangelion © Studio Khara

In terms of romance, I do believe that opposites attract. That opposite personalities can somehow balance each other out. If both characters are too similar the ship simply will not work in my mind. There has to be some clash in personality that works toward understanding. Too much clash and things can quickly turn into a negative interaction. Which is something I wouldn’t want to happen in a ship.

In other words, I look for elements that I would personally like to see in a relationship. You could say that my shipping choices reflect various aspects of how I feel relationships should be.

Hopefully you enjoyed this installment of Coming out Fujoshi. I have more stories in store, so you hope you guys look forward to them! So, how do you go about shipping characters? Feel free to leave a comment below or a response post on your own blog. Just feel free to link back to here so I can stalk check out what you wrote! 😀

Until next time,
Pan ❤

Pan’s Armada: Husbandos

Hey guys! 😀

It’s officially 5 AM on the first day of NaBloPoMo! I should be sleeping, but I have reached the point where sleep is overrated and that I should type this before I leave my friend’s wifi connection. Priorities, right?

Let’s face it, at some point in our fandom lives we’ve reached the level where we have some form of crush on a two-dimensional character. Over the years these crushes earned the name “husbando” and “waifu“. Don’t get me wrong, I honestly didn’t know these terms existed until I started college, so I wouldn’t be able to tell you when they first came to be. (But if you want to read a post explaining the terms and relating to characters, then check out Rok the Reaper.) When I use the term “husbando”, it’s only used when talking to my close friends. Outside of my circle I usually use the term “fictional crushes”. When all else fails, I refer to my fictional crushes as “bae material”. Keep in mind most of the conversations involve me fanning myself and wiping away the growing tears from my eyes.

I feel that deeply and sometimes it’s pretty embarrassing. Especially to admit here, then again I can be very shameless.

But enough my introductory rant, it’s time to read about the fictional men that impacted my life (and my wallet)!

The original husbando: Axel

Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix

Axel is literally the reason why I always go for the red-head men in dating sims. (See, shameless?) After playing Kingdom Hearts 2, I was addicted to this man. That red hair and those green eyes should seriously be an illegal combination…  I think it was early in my high school years when I realized that, “Hey, this guy is attractive. I dunno why, but he is.” After role-playing with a friend of mine during that time, I realized that Axel was rather melt worthy. If that doesn’t make any sense, imagine any attractive person of your choice and amplify that by ten. If you have to fan yourself, than they are definitely melt worthy.

Axel was bae material years before I even knew the word was an acronym. This man had some mysterious, edgy cool factor that drew me in while playing KH2 and I didn’t regret a second of my attraction towards him. Even to this day I still have nostalgic moments of me crying during his death scene. Spoilers for those who have not played the game. If you haven’t played the Kingdom Hearts series yet, I would definitely recommend it. Just not Chain of Memories. We do not speak of Chain of Memories unless you are a fan of rotating cards. *shivers* I couldn’t make it through the game.

The one that hit me super hard: Matsuoka Rin

Free! © Kyoto Animation

Another red-haired man that I fell for, but a little harder than I did with Axel. Axel may have set the standard requirements for a husbando, but this guy took it a little further. I honestly was NOT prepared when this dork came into my life. “Who is this shark-toothed gentlemen and why am I swooning?” I don’t know what caused this fellow to come into my life like a wrecking ball, but I decided to jump on and savor the moment. I wanted to watch Free! because it was something different, I was still on a sports anime binge and the hype was too contagious to resist. Season one Rin will always be my favorite, but I can easily appreciate season two Rin who mellowed out. Keep in mind that I still have yet to finish season two of Free!, but I am looking forward to seeing High Speed!.

Fans don’t like Rin, and that’s perfectly okay. This is a judge free zone. To be honest, my initial impression of Rin in the first few episodes was that he was selfish and had a big ego. Towards the middle of the first season I started to warm up to him. I admit, he had issues to work through in season one, which is all the more reason I can appreciate season two Rin.

The least loved, but still very important: Ryouta Kise

Kuroko no Basuske © Production I.G

Don’t get me wrong, I still adore Kise to pieces. Lately, out of all my husbandos he gets the least amount of love and acknowledgement. I realized Kise was my favorite when I got to see beyond the pretty eyelashes. He has his dorky moments, he cares about people and has his own unique swagger. The things this man does should be illegal sometimes. One moment he’s just pretty, the next he’s being a precious dork and then he brings out the smolder. Once those eyes narrow and he becomes serious, it’s time to hold on tight something because the bartender is really shaking things up. Sometimes I forget how to breathe while watching Kuroko no Basuke and that’s not very healthy. I cried so hard over Kise while watching KnB. Man tears are a huge weakness of mine and there were not enough tissues in the room at that time.

But it’s because of Kise that I go on guilty Tumblr binges. While watching a few episodes of season three my friend O-chan told me that I was blowing up her dash. Because he doesn’t get enough love I go on a reblogging spree and make sobbing noises. I’m a terrible person, but O-chan describes Kise as: the pretty husband who smiles, sits in a corner and waves. Kise is basically your trophy wife.

…….I’m terrible. Q____Q

The current favorite: Levi Ackerman

Shingeki no Kyojin © Wit Studio / Production I. G

First and foremost, my addiction to this man is at an extreme. When someone gives me something Levi related as a gift I hyperventilate if not get teary eyed and start making incoherent noise. I don’t see myself having any form of shrine (mostly because the commitment would financially break me and they sometimes weird me out), so I’m content with the collection I have growing. Slowly yet sure my Levi collection is growing.

Lately I’ve found myself leaning towards dark-haired older men. A great example if this is Chakura Johji from Dreamy Days in West Tokyo. Johji is just an example, but Levi is the one who kickstarted this new area is my life. The thing about Levi is that he’s not a character that is deeply examined. He’s not just a clean freak, he doesn’t just kick the shit out of Eren all the time (no I do NOT ship it), he’s not just some old man who drinks tea and makes shit-related jokes and he isn’t just a badass. This man seen a lot, lost people very dear to him and lives in a messed up world. So of course he’s distant, but there is way, way more to Levi than just his outer appearance. This man has exceeded the requirements for bae material and my shamelessness at RPing my OTP from Shingeki no Kyojin.

Whew! I would say we are off to a successful start guys! Not bad for a first day, right? Speaking of OTPs and shipping, that will be a future post for NaBloPoMo. Also some more language learning posts, posts about what I would like to do with my college degree, reviews and topics that you guys suggest. I plan to cater to a variety of interests and I don’t want anyone to feel left out. 🙂

Now it’s your turn. That is, if you would like to share: who are your fictional crushes / husbandos / waifus / baes / etc.? I’m honestly not familiar with the waifu territory, so I wouldn’t be able to do that area justice.

One day down, twenty-nine more to go. Bring plenty of blankets, pajamas, coffee, tea, hot chocolate, snacks, plushies and pillows, because we are having a giant slumber party this month!

Until next time,
Pan ❤